Your Rainforest Mind

Support for the Excessively Curious, Creative, Smart & Sensitive


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Gifted, Bullied, Resilient — New Book by Pamela Price

photo courtesy of GHF Press

photo courtesy of GHF Press

Were you ever bullied as a youngster? By other kids? By teachers? By family members? Have your children been bullied?

Rainforest-minded folks may experience bullying for any of the following reasons:

Extra-sensitivity: intense emotional expressiveness (including crying easily), unusual empathy, speaking out against injustice, greater awareness and intuitions,  heightened experiences with sensations such as tastes, sounds, sights, touch.

Intellectual intensity: enormous enthusiasm for learning, fast talking and thinking, tendency to argue for mental exercise, appearing like a know-it-all, correcting teacher’s mistakes, scoring well on tests, answering “too many ” questions in a classroom, being “too smart,” obsessions with obscure or unpopular or complicated topics.

Asynchronous development or 2e-ness: quite advanced in some areas while being average or below in other areas, intellectual precocity along with learning challenges such as ADHD, dyslexia, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), sensory processing issues (SPD); social skill deficits, especially when communicating with same-aged peers.

Divergent thinking and creative unusualnesses: difficulty with authority, “too many” ideas and solutions to problems, impatience with friends or colleagues who are slower paced or more linear thinkers, frequent daydreaming.

If this describes you or your child, help is on the way!

photo courtesy of Pamela Price

photo courtesy of Pamela Price

A new book by writer and gifted advocate (and, full disclosure, my friend) Pamela Price adeptly presents what parents need to know to understand bullying behaviors and to effectively address them. Using poignant personal examples, careful research, and stories from parents of gifted kids, Price explains why gifted children are bullied, the impact it can have on the child and the family, what parents can do about it and how families can produce more resilient children.

Like many books published by GHF Press (fuller disclosure, this is the publisher of my book, coming this spring), Gifted, Bullied, Resilient is for busy parents who don’t have time to waste. It’s written with efficiency and quality in mind. You can find it here.

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To my blogEEs: Tell us about your experiences with bullying; either yours or that of your children. And if you pick up Pamela’s book, let us know what you think.


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Shame and Resilience–Chainsaws in Your Childhood

You are like the rain forest. Highly sensitive, colorful, intense, and complicated. Vulnerable to chainsaws. And the chainsaws are everywhere. They’re the coworkers who can’t keep up with you. The relatives who think you’re too sensitive. The teachers who want you to stifle your effervescence. The friends who disappear when you forget to modify your vocabulary. The neighbors who paint their houses orange.

But what if the chainsaws lived with you? What if they were your parents?

photo by Dave Young creative commons flickr

photo by Dave Young creative commons flickr

Being a psychotherapist, I know a lot about chainsaw parents. It’s my specialty. And like many counselors, I studied them in my own childhood.

If, in your family, there was abuse, neglect, shame, rage or fear, in some form or another, you suffered. You were changed by it. You found ways to cope by blaming yourself or parenting your parents or escaping into addictions. You found ways to cope by getting good grades in school or getting bad grades in school. You found ways to cope by reading Lord of the Rings twelve times. You found ways to cope by hiding your radiance and shutting down access to your true Self.

And now you’re living with the results. Anxiety, self-doubt, depression, shame. Oddly enough, it doesn’t show. Right? You’ve learned how to cope so well that you’ve managed to put together a good life. Maybe you have a fulfilling career. Maybe you have a compassionate partner. Maybe you’re raising your children in a loving, safe, trustworthy home. Maybe you didn’t become a serial killer.

This is what your rainforest mind has done for you. It’s made you resilient. Because even with all of the shame, fear and self-deprecation, your rainforest-y soul kept you off of Skid Row.

Now, I’m not saying that you don’t need therapy. There’s definitely work to be done. Lots of work. Good therapy or some other deep healing modality can make an enormous difference in how you view who you are. And how you live.

What I’m saying is that just because you’ve been resilient, doesn’t mean the chainsaw parents weren’t impactful. You may be minimizing the dysfunction you experienced because you turned out OK.

Don’t do that.

Instead, I’d recommend that you–

jinterwas flickr creative commons

jinterwas flickr creative commons

1. Thank your rainforest mind for its fabulousness.

2. Find a therapist who knows his or her way around the jungle.

3. Recognize that it’s now safe to be your radiant Self.

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To my bloggEEs: I know that it may be hard to be your bright shining Self, for numerous reasons. In future posts, I’ll write about that and help you sort through the obstacles. I also know that this post may not apply to you. I’m writing about my personal experiences with gifted adults and there’s great variety within that population. Not everyone comes from a seriously dysfunctional family! So, don’t be discouraged if this post or another one isn’t quite right for you. OK?  In the comments, let us know your thoughts and questions.

 

This blog is part of a collection of posts by various writers on the topic of giftedness in adults. To read more, click on the image below.1546415_10204610136200684_2591280822836276826_n