Your Rainforest Mind

Support For The Excessively Curious, Creative, Smart & Sensitive


16 Comments

How To Find A Mate With A Rainforest Mind

photo courtesy of Felix Russell-Saw, Unsplash

photo courtesy of Felix Russell-Saw, Unsplash

How does a highly sensitive, intense, emotional, analytical, gifted, creative human find another highly sensitive, intense, emotional, analytical, gifted, creative human? Can two such humans get together and manage an intimate relationship without imploding or exploding or interploding? (I just made that last word up. But you can imagine it, can’t you?) 

You’re probably not worrying about interploding if you’re partnerless. You’re wondering if that gifted mate is even out there. And even if s/he is out there, how might you stumble into him/her. So, we’ll start there. We’ll get to an avoiding interploding post later.

(This is not to imply that everyone needs to find a mate. Nooooooo. I’m just writing to those of you who are single and looking. OK?)

There’s lots of advice out there that might be helpful. I’m going to share my theory.

From my psycho-spiritual-rainforesty perspective, I think there are complicated factors at play. But first, I want to remind you that all types of folks have found mates. Even gifted ones. So there’s hope.

Next, I believe that there are three things you’ll need to do.

1. Some of you will need therapy to face your fears. In the therapeutic relationship, you practice trusting someone and being vulnerable. You learn how to speak your truth and how to repair your broken heart. You develop healthy boundaries and shift patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you well. You build self-confidence and self-love, so that you’re better able to select someone who will be a good match. (How to find a therapist.)

2. Some of you will need to explore your psyche to look for obstacles. You may think you want to find someone but your unconscious may be screaming, ” Hell no!” In your journal, explore your fears. Write to parts of yourself and be an empathetic listener. Maybe it’s your Wounded Child who is afraid of abandonment. Maybe it’s your Perfectionist who’s afraid of failure. Maybe it’s your Introvert who’s afraid of being overwhelmed. Write to these parts and build connections. Find ways to soothe and reassure them. Then, get yourself out into the world in ways that you find meaningful and fulfilling. (Writing a blog,  joining the Audubon society, or taking a class in bicycle mechanics…)

3. And last, and here’s the spiritual (some might say woowoo) part. Use your creativity to energetically call the person to you. You can use song writing, collage, letter writing, poetry, dance, painting, gardening, whatever form that works for you and is fun. Imagine that s/he will hear you when the time is right. Imagine what it will feel like when s/he arrives. Picture your first date. If that image stirs up anxiety, go back to steps one and two! If it creates excitement, that’s a good sign. Then, be like the Buddha and let go of any attachment to outcome. Just live your already beautiful, multifaceted, rainforest-minded life.

( Full disclosure: At the present time, I’m single and seeking a partner. You may have guessed?? I’ve worked through steps 1, 2, and 3 and am in the Buddha phase. But, well, if my future mate is reading this right now, um, you know where to find me. )

______________________

To my bloggEEs: Those of you in partnerships, how did you find each other? Tell us what it’s been like. Those of you seeking, what do you think of these ideas? Those of you who are enthusiastically single, share your insights. Thank you all for reading and sharing. By the way, I hope you like the changes to my blog. Let me know your feedback. Oh, and when my person shows up, I’ll let y’all know.

And for you, dear readers, struggling with recent events, here’s an older post that might help. Sending all of you love.

Impostor, Scholar, Procrastinator, Healer — Your Multidimensional Self

25 Comments

photo courtesy of Kimson Doan, Unsplash, cc

photo courtesy of Kimson Doan, Unsplash, cc

 

 

What if your multidimensionality could be divided into specific peopled-parts that you could identify, name, converse with, and learn from. What if you could bring all of those parts into a conference room and sit them down at a table for a discussion. (or for you more nature-y types to an ocean around a campfire) You may have heard of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. This is a version of that. Useful for exploring your psyche, processing problems and gaining insight.

Let’s say you’re stuck in a pattern of sabotaging your success. Invite the Saboteur to the table. Perhaps your perfectionism is keeping you from starting that project. Let the Perfectionist pull up a chair. Maybe you get anxious when you try to initiate a friendship. Make space for the Ruminator.

But, hey, these parts of you (also called subpersonalities) are not all neurotic or troubled! Who else is in your psyche waiting to be set free? Are you intuitive and a little witchy? Is there an Artist, a Goddess, a Weaver, or an Athlete? A Seeker? A Hermit?

Make a list of all of your many parts. Don’t forget the Traumatized Child or the Caretaker or the Couch Potato or the Shining Light.

Because you have a rainforest mind, you very likely have many parts. (Your very own inner community!) Don’t be shy. Make the list and, then, write a little description after each.

You see, this way, you don’t have to define yourself as depressed or anxious or hopeless. Instead, you get to see that a part of you is, say, depressed. And you can get to know that part and find out what it’s trying to tell you or teach you. But depressed is not all of who you are. It may feel like that on your worst days, but it’s not all of you. It’s a part that you can work with and grow to understand.

And that understanding can help you feel more self-accepting and hopeful.

There are resources where you can find out more about this technique. You can find it in books about journal dialogues or in the book Self Therapy. You can get the therapy theory in the book by Richard Schwartz, the originator of this model.

One more aspect to IFS, perhaps the most important, is this: Schwartz says that we all have an Essence or a big Self or a Divine Self. That is who we really are. The subpersonalities are how we most often deal with the world but at our core is our True Nature. The goal is to live as often as we can from that Self. You might be familiar with this if you’ve read Carl Jung. It makes so much sense but isn’t easy to achieve.

Knowing your Essence is an on-going process. When do you feel peaceful? Joyful? Deeply compassionate? Chances are, at those times, you’re in touch with your True Self. Make a list of those experiences. Are you painting, writing, meditating, singing, gardening, hiking, blogging, running? Practice deepening those moments as you gain awareness of your body-mind-spirit. Notice when a subpersonality shows up. Welcome him/her. Sit by the fire for a chat.

Getting to know all of your selves along with your Divine Self is one way to better navigate your rainforest mind. And to live as the fully complicated, adorable, multidimensional being that you are.

_____________________________

To my bloggEEs: Some of you have asked for more specific resources and ideas. I hope this helps. Let us know if you try it and what you discover. Thank you from my Blogger self. Big hugs and kisses from my Essence!

14063786_10208929148198523_1648417606332075114_nThis post is part of a blog hop via Hoagiesgifted.org. For more posts on the topic of Community click here or on the image.


43 Comments

Fear of Success? — Time To Let It Go

photo courtesy of Elowyn Allanketner

These times require that all of us with rainforest minds step up. These times require that our fears of success and anxieties over failure be damned. These times require that we do whatever it takes to heal the wounding that has kept us from being our True Selves.

Normally, my message is gentle and respectful. I believe that kindness and empathy are important keys to helping people change. That said, today, I’m gonna push.

Some of you need a push because you’re oh-so-close to radiance. Oh-so-close to compassionate power. Oh-so-close to intuitive awarenesses that could rearrange and reconfigure your perceptions of reality. But you can’t quite get there because you don’t believe in yourselves or you have “memories” of being burned at the stake in one form or another or you don’t know how to tap into your Wisdom.

Well, then:

•  Believe in yourself. Come on. You have a rainforest mind. That means that you’re a quick learner, an analytical thinker and a sensitive soul. What’s in the way of your self-appreciation? Critical voices from your past? Start journaling to explore the voices. Get to know them. Draw them. Write letters to them. Ask them what they’re protecting you from. If they’re very convincing, find a good therapist who can help calm the little buggers and get them to ease up on you. Then you can start to see who you really are.

•  Risk the burning. I know. Easy for me to say. If you carry “memories” from traumatic events in other times (metaphorically speaking or within the collective unconscious or in a past life), particularly when you were being powerful, you might hesitate to step into the limelight now. I understand. But maybe it’s time to join the other “witches” and go for it. You can use your creative mind to visualize where your strength and insight live in your body, then, go there regularly. Imagine that protective animals or guardian angels or spiritual back-up singers are around you, cheering you on. Tools that can help are hypnotherapy or shamanic journeying.

•  Tap into your Wisdom. How do you find your inner guidance? Through a meditation or spiritual practice? Through a martial art? In nature? Yoga? Writing? Painting? Dancing? Hiking? Dreaming? Praying? Do you need to read about developing your intuition? Or take a class in mindfulness? Find a support group on Facebook? Whatever works for you, find your way and tap (dance) into your Wisdom (also known as your True Self).

These times require that all of us with rainforest minds step up. These times require that our fears of success and anxieties over failure be damned. These times require that we do whatever it takes to heal the wounding that has kept us from being our True Selves. 

____________________________

To my bloggEEs: What are some of the ways you’ve overcome your fear of “success” (however you define it) and what holds you back? Some of you may be unhappy with my references to what could be construed as New Age-ish ideas. I hope that you’ll hang in there with me anyway. The rainforest mind has incredible variety and nuance so we won’t always agree on every little thing. Take what works for you and leave the rest. OK?