Your Rainforest Mind

Support For The Excessively Curious, Creative, Smart & Sensitive


33 Comments

(Almost) Everything You Need To Know About Psychotherapy And Giftedness

photo courtesy of Semir Ahmed Douibi

Is this you? You’re articulate, insightful, sensitive, and extremely capable. But your anxiety keeps you awake nights. You feel unmotivated or sad much of the time. You question the purpose of your life and wonder if it’s pointless. You get frequent migraines or weird physical symptoms. Your self-criticism is out of control.

You’re aware that you were raised in a dysfunctional family and you can analyze the chaos with calm accuracy. You’re clear that you don’t want to repeat the patterns of abuse or neglect handed down to you. So, you’ve tried numerous ways to improve your life: exercise, antidepressants, chocolate, support groups, massage, journaling, yoga, art, Argentine tango, more chocolate, hiking, fly fishing, meditation, and hiding under the bed with your cat.

These techniques help. But they aren’t enough.

So, you finally get up the courage to try therapy.

But where do you start? How do you find the right person? What type of therapy will work for you? How are you different from regular clients and how do you share that with your therapist?

Well, my dears, I’ve compiled five of my older posts to answer these burning questions. Click on the links to get to the full articles. And, if you’re already in therapy, share this post with your counselor.

It can be scary and frustrating to start the psychotherapy journey. But I promise you, it’s so worth it. I’ve been in and out of therapies for many years, working with different folks as my needs changed. I started in my 30’s. And, if you must know, I was a mess back then. And I am so much less of a mess now. Ask my sister. She’ll corroborate my story. And, hey. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the children in your life, in your community, and in your world. Stopping your family’s dysfunctional legacy will heal future and past generations. It just might make the world much less of a mess. You never know. 

 

What Psychotherapists Need To Know About Gifted Clients 

“If you are a counselor or other mental health practitioner or if you’re gifted and want to see a psychotherapist, there are some things that you need to know.

The rainforest mind is complicated. Like the jungle, it’s breathtaking in its capacity to create: Thoughts, emotions, questions, sensitivities, worries, beauty, and iPhones. It’s intense and overwhelming.

The rainforest mind, in counseling, needs deep, empathetic, authentic understanding of its fascinating and convoluted intricacies…”

 

How To Find A Psychotherapist Who Loves Your Rainforest Mind

“How do you find a psychotherapist who isn’t overwhelmed by your fast talking, fast thinking, complex emotions, difficult questions and multiple sensitivities?

How do you find a psychotherapist who isn’t frightened by your uncanny ability to notice when s/he’s distracted or slightly out of whack?

How do you you find a psychotherapist who isn’t fooled by your articulate insight, your wit and your idealism; a psychotherapist who sees beneath the surface to the deep pain and shame that suffocates you?…”

 

If I’m So Smart, Why Do I Need Psychotherapy 

“…The thing is, you probably took on lots of responsibility in your family when you were younger. If things were dysfunctional or traumatic, you may have been the one who picked up the pieces. Or protected your siblings. Made everyone laugh. Or got out as soon as you could. You were likely quite resilient at the time and developed very effective coping strategies.

But now you may notice that you’re anxious or depressed. Maybe you keep picking the wrong partners. Or you’re way too angry at your kids. So, of course, you say you should know better. Smart people don’t fall into painful patterns that are the result of early losses—losses of confidence, identity, safety or trust. 

Oh, yes they do…”

 

If I’m So Smart, Why Do I Need Psychotherapy, Part Two 

“…What if you start. With yourself. And your family. What if you take some time to examine your very own fears, doubts and despair. What if you take a trip into your past to understand the legacy your dysfunctional family handed to you. Locate your true Self. And pull her/him out from under the rubble. Think about it. If all humans would recover the self-acceptance, compassion and creativity that was smooshed or buried or broken or clobbered during those early years, might we create a path to a better world?…”

 

Giftedness, Therapy, and Your Dysfunctional Family — Diving Into The Abyss 

“…As a child, you were so vulnerable, that you had to believe what your parents told you. It was inevitable that you’d misinterpret their dysfunction to mean that something was wrong with you. Even though you were smart, the intensity of parental shame, fear, rage and who-knows-what got transmitted to you. So this is what needs to be dismantled: Your misunderstanding of who you are. And that requires diving into the abyss. Poet Adrienne Rich calls it Diving into the Wreck…”

___________________________________

To my blogEEs: Tell us about your experiences with therapy. I know that some of you have had bad experiences or have had trouble finding someone. I hope these posts give you some ideas that help. Those of you who have had positive experiences, let us know how you found the person and what they did that worked for you. If you want more details about therapy, check out my book! Sending you all love and appreciation as we move together into 2018.

(Note: For those of you who are wondering, I’m only licensed in Oregon as a psychotherapist so can’t practice outside of the state. It’s best for you to find someone local for counseling. I do, however, consult internationally. You can find details here.)

 

 

Advertisements


19 Comments

Change The World By Galvanizing Your Giftedness

photo courtesy NASA, Unsplash, CC

photo courtesy NASA, Unsplash, CC

There are times when you might feel an urgency to maximize your mojo. To jumpstart your juju. To manifest your muse. To galvanize your giftedness.

This might be one of those times. 

I have two suggestions for you.

Because of my psychotherapeutic leanings, these ideas are inner world oriented. There are many opportunities now for outer world activities. And these are very important. (Don’t forget to include radical self-care.)

And from where I sit, changing the world is both an inside and an outside job. I specialize in the inner realms. The introspective. The neurobiopsychospiritual. The diving-into-your-abyss methods. The facing-your-demons plans.  My theory is that by doing the inside job, you become more effective on the outside. And, yes, you can do them both simultaneously. You don’t have to massacre all of your demons before writing to your congressperson or reducing your carbon footprint. Actually, you don’t ever have to massacre your demons. This is a nonviolent blog. But I digress.

Here are two simple techniques. You can start today.

Meet Your Selves

You are a compilation of subpersonalities with a higher Self at your center. Rather than being the total impostor-slacker-anxiety-ridden lost soul that you may see in your mirror on occasion, you are instead, a human with many parts. With a deep authentic radiant Essence at your core. You might have an inner critic, a wounded child, a scared addict or a paralyzed perfectionist on your list of subpersonalities. But be fair. You may also have an artist, healer, empath, scholar, inventor, athlete, and nature-lover in your psyche. So what do you do?

In your journal, enumerate all of your many parts. Choose one and start a dialogue. The idea is that you can converse with and get to know all aspects of yourself. In this way, you become friends with your “demons” and learn what they’re here to teach you. You invigorate the parts that are your strengths. And you begin to connect with the authentic, radiant Self at your core. For details about this process, go herehere, or here.

Meet Your Mentors

I know. A good mentor is hard to find. Maybe impossible. Not to worry. Make a list of humans you admire. Perhaps they’re authors, poets, scientists, artists, musicians, ancestors or athletes. They don’t have to be living. You don’t have to have met them. They can include animal companions or spiritual guides. Select about five to be your mentors, your committee, or your backup singers. List their names and what each of them has to offer you. Maybe it’s support for your creative project. Maybe it’s a sense of humor. Maybe it’s a hug when you’re in despair. Write to them when you need help. Ask for guidance. Then visualize yourself receiving their assistance or write the response in a letter from them. You may be pleasantly surprised at the results.

With these two techniques, you’ll be better able to handle the challenges of these times. You will strengthen your insides so you can be more effective on your outsides. You’ll maximize your mojo and jumpstart your juju.

You’ll get your gifted on.

__________________________

To my bloggEEs: I’d like this blog to be inclusive and apolitical. I want everyone to feel welcome. That said, I’d like to find a way to be welcoming but not ignore the events of these times. It’s tricky. I may not be doing it very well. If commenters can avoid specific political statements, that would help. And if any of you want to share your concerns with me privately, you can contact me through the About page. Know that I appreciate all of you, no matter where you stand.