Your Rainforest Mind

Support for the Excessively Curious, Creative, Smart & Sensitive


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It Is Time To Stop Denying You Are Gifted

Photo courtesy of Miguel Bruna, Unsplash

“Humanity’s most consequential decade is now upon us. Your permission to play small has been permanently revoked.”   Van Jones

I know you may not think you are gifted. Perhaps, if you have been following my blog for a while, I have convinced you that you have a rainforest mind. But you may still question yourself because you did not do well in math or you dropped out of college or you are a stay-at-home mom or learning 5 languages was easy. Anyone can learn 5 languages easily, right? The Katakana/Hiragana alphabets? Can’t everyone teach themselves software engineering? Isn’t everyone a ravenous researcher-reader?

Um, no.

I understand. You do not want to be a narcissist. To be accused of arrogance. You want to recognize everyone’s talents. You still do not know what you want to do when you grow up and you are 50. You are not famous. You have met people smarter than you. You do not finish one project before you start another. You change jobs every few years. You can not decide what color to paint your bedroom. You feel distress when asked the question: How are you?

Distress? How are you?

Heck, yeah.

Then again, you may be denying your giftedness because it feels safer to “play small.” Being the smart kid was not so great. You may have been bullied for your intellectual enthusiasm. Parents may have assumed you would be fine, so you were the neglected child. The pressure to be a high achiever may be the reason for your endless anxiety. No one understood why you cried so much. You heard “who do you think you are” too many times. You may have been burned at the stake in a former life.

And, who can you tell you are gifted if you finally decide you are???

Honestly?

No one.

Well, you can tell me. Your partner should know. It will explain a lot. Your close friends. Who may also be gifted. Your acupuncturist, if she is also gifted. Your psychotherapist. Your gifted kids.

What’s most important is that YOU know. It will explain a lot.

And then. And then, you need to stop playing small.

Because, as you are aware, this is the decade where we all need to step up. Hiding is no longer an option. You have to risk the bullying and the neglect. You have to learn how to soothe your anxiety and appreciate your intuition. You have to reignite your intellectual enthusiasm.

And then?

From the wise words of Clarissa Pinkola Estes:

“…One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these — to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do…”

You need to be “…fully lit.” “…to stand up and show your soul.”

In other words, just be you.

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To my bloggEEs: I know it is not necessarily so easy to “just be you.” You may need some guidance. Maybe some self-compassion work. Encouragement about the future. Activism. Esoteric philosophy. Rebecca Solnit. Climate crisis action.  Soul Collage.  Psychotherapy. Relationship articlesMy books!

I have been reading some old posts and find your comments so deeply sensitive and enlightening. Please continue to share your experiences here. We all benefit so much. Tell us how you feel about accepting your giftedness. Share what you are doing in these challenging times to know your soul and show your soul. And thank you so much for your courage and vulnerability. Sending big love.

 

 

 


27 Comments

What’s Joy Got To Do With It?

Photo by Preslie Hirsch on Unsplash

My 29-year-old, almost-too-pretty, super smart acupuncturist told me I need to find joy.

Joy shmoy,” I said. Not to her. She’s so young.

But, really. Joy? When California is burning? Polar ice caps are melting?  Birds are disappearing?

Maybe especially because of these events.

I was telling my almost-too-pretty super smart acupuncturist, let’s call her Kat, that I am interested in finding a male companion, a partner, a mate. I have been single for about 5 years now and am enjoying my sweet life. I have no complaints. In fact, I am mastering the art of gratitude. Being older, it is easy to be grateful for what is NOT happening. No slipped discs. No auto-immune illnesses. No artificial hips. No hearing loss. Well, maybe a little hearing loss. So, I feel a little guilty that I am asking for more. (But not too guilty. Guilty shmilty.)

And, being a psychotherapist, I am quite clear that partnering is not some ideal, smooth, romantic ride into the sunset. Quite clear.

And yet.

I was telling Kat that I missed the deep intimacy that partnership can provide. The tracking that your person does of your whereabouts. The thrilling adventure of loving another human in particularly dynamic, vulnerable, and fascinating ways. The comfort of having your mate with you during tumultuous times.

And yet.

I know that I have been a role model for some of you. Those of you who are looking for a single, childfree, older, somewhat-accomplished female. And if that is who I continue to be into my elderhood, well, that will be fine. Excellent, really. After all, there is love in my life. Great love. Friends. Family. Clients. Blog followers. (You know who you are.) Fans of my books. Spiritual energies. Acupuncturists.

But wait. What does all of this have to do with my rainforest mind? you ask. Has this blog become something else while I wasn’t looking? Is Paula using her blog for her very own Match.com? 

Well, hey. It is my blog, doncha know.

So, maybe. A little.

But here’s the thing.

I think Kat was saying that if I go deeply enough into my own soulfulness. Below the loneliness, the anxiety, the distress about the planet. Deep into the center of my center. I will find the Love and the Unity. Of the Universe and Everything. And joy. Joy will be lurking there, too. Waiting for me to find it. And to spread it around. I think Kat believes that the joy-spreading may be the energetic call that my man needs to show up. And who am I to argue with a 29-year-old almost-too-pretty super smart acupuncturist? I mean really. Anything is possible.

Carolyn North, writer and visionary describes her take on joy:

“…It is about knowing in our whole beings the deep joy of the Mystery that underlies all phenomena of our physical world, the Mystery that is love itself. It is an energy, a vibration, a consciousness, a gratitude, a feeling that we all have intuitive access to…Once we recognize the high frequency ‘feel’ of this joy, we can find our way back to it easily when those who are threatened by it try to regain control by shaming us…All we need is fifty-one percent of the people accessing the higher vibrations of authentic joy to save us all from going over the brink…Just fifty-one percent of us who know how to love can save the world.”

So, let us all find joy. It lurks in the center of your center, too. Trust me on this one.

And if you run into my soul’s companion while you are spreading joy, well, you know where to find me.

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To my bloggEEs: Are there ways you tap into joy? Nature? Laughing children? Music? Researching obscure topics for wikipedia entries? Martial arts? Meditating? Blogging? Playing matchmaker? Let us know in the comments. Your contributions make this blog so much better. Thank you, as always, for being here.

(Note: If you are having a lot of trouble finding joy because of the climate crisis, I just started reading Terry Patten’s book A New Republic of the Heart: An Ethos for Revolutionaries. It looks good.)

(Another note: If you are having trouble finding joy because you are grappling with trauma from your past, read this post and check out the.holistic.psychologist on Instagram.)