Your Rainforest Mind

Support for the Excessively Curious, Creative, Smart & Sensitive


47 Comments

It Is Time To Stop Denying You Are Gifted

Photo courtesy of Miguel Bruna, Unsplash

“Humanity’s most consequential decade is now upon us. Your permission to play small has been permanently revoked.”   Van Jones

I know you may not think you are gifted. Perhaps, if you have been following my blog for a while, I have convinced you that you have a rainforest mind. But you may still question yourself because you did not do well in math or you dropped out of college or you are a stay-at-home mom or learning 5 languages was easy. Anyone can learn 5 languages easily, right? The Katakana/Hiragana alphabets? Can’t everyone teach themselves software engineering? Isn’t everyone a ravenous researcher-reader?

Um, no.

I understand. You do not want to be a narcissist. To be accused of arrogance. You want to recognize everyone’s talents. You still do not know what you want to do when you grow up and you are 50. You are not famous. You have met people smarter than you. You do not finish one project before you start another. You change jobs every few years. You can not decide what color to paint your bedroom. You feel distress when asked the question: How are you?

Distress? How are you?

Heck, yeah.

Then again, you may be denying your giftedness because it feels safer to “play small.” Being the smart kid was not so great. You may have been bullied for your intellectual enthusiasm. Parents may have assumed you would be fine, so you were the neglected child. The pressure to be a high achiever may be the reason for your endless anxiety. No one understood why you cried so much. You heard “who do you think you are” too many times. You may have been burned at the stake in a former life.

And, who can you tell you are gifted if you finally decide you are???

Honestly?

No one.

Well, you can tell me. Your partner should know. It will explain a lot. Your close friends. Who may also be gifted. Your acupuncturist, if she is also gifted. Your psychotherapist. Your gifted kids.

What’s most important is that YOU know. It will explain a lot.

And then. And then, you need to stop playing small.

Because, as you are aware, this is the decade where we all need to step up. Hiding is no longer an option. You have to risk the bullying and the neglect. You have to learn how to soothe your anxiety and appreciate your intuition. You have to reignite your intellectual enthusiasm.

And then?

From the wise words of Clarissa Pinkola Estes:

“…One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these — to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do…”

You need to be “…fully lit.” “…to stand up and show your soul.”

In other words, just be you.

________________________________________________

To my bloggEEs: I know it is not necessarily so easy to “just be you.” You may need some guidance. Maybe some self-compassion work. Encouragement about the future. Activism. Esoteric philosophy. Rebecca Solnit. Climate crisis action.  Soul Collage.  Psychotherapy. Relationship articlesMy books!

I have been reading some old posts and find your comments so deeply sensitive and enlightening. Please continue to share your experiences here. We all benefit so much. Tell us how you feel about accepting your giftedness. Share what you are doing in these challenging times to know your soul and show your soul. And thank you so much for your courage and vulnerability. Sending big love.

 

 

 


42 Comments

Finding Your *Wild Self* and Living Your Deeper Life

photo courtesy of Caique Silva, Unsplash

“The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.”
Clarissa Pinkola Estés

What is your door to your “wild Self?”

Now would be a good time to find that door and walk through it. Don’t you agree?

But first, you might need to understand who your wild Self is.

Get your journal and your imagination and write/draw. Your wild Self is your Essence, your Authenticity, your Wisdom. Some people call it your higher Self.

I know.

How in heaven’s name are you supposed to describe that? Much less feel it. Or be it.

And if you’re anything like me, there may be fear involved.

Strange as it sounds, I think we can be afraid to be our Big Selves. Even though we know that it’s where our Wisdom lives, there’s something scary about that much expansion. Maybe it’s fear of the unknown. Or: Fear of the loss of our small ego self. Fear of going crazy. Fear of loneliness. Fear of loss of control. Fear of being seen. Fear of being overwhelmed by all of the suffering on the planet. Fear of too much love.

So many opportunities for fear.

Here’s an idea: What if you talk to your fear and see what it has to say. Write a conversation in your journal. Ask your fear to tell you about itself and to tell you what it needs so that you can grow bigger and wilder. Bigger and wilder in your particular unique way. Not what everyone says you’re supposed to be. Not who everyone else is. But who you know in your heart is the real you. The real, sensitive, smart, curious, intense, rainforest-y you.

This process may take time. Examining your fear requires patience and courage. Maybe you’ll need a guide: A psychotherapist. A good book. A meditation practice. A hot fudge sundae.

Take your time. This may be some of your most important work. When you expand into Authenticity, you tap into a larger level of awareness. What Dr. Larry Dossey calls One Mind. The place where he says we are more than our human selves, where we are transcendent, where we experience our spiritual intelligence. The place where we open to our life’s purpose.

See what I mean?

Take a breath. And another.

When the timing feels right, come back to your journal and your imagination. Feel into your heart. Do you see a door? Describe the door.

Are you ready to open it?

______________________________

To my bloggEEs: You may have noticed that I’m spending some time with these complex questions of spirituality and deep inner work. I feel drawn here because of my own process and because of the tumultuous events on the planet. Let us know what you think and how you understand Self and spirituality. Are you feeling pressure to “use your gifts?” Are you wondering how you might have a larger impact? Do you feel fear about expanding into a more wild Self? Thank you for sharing your feelings, thoughts, and questions. Thank you for being here.

(Note: If the idea of the Self intrigues you, there’s a model of therapy you might want to explore called Internal Family Systems. Find out more about it here. One resource for finding your life’s purpose would be Martha Beck.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


45 Comments

A Path Through Your Post-Election Paralysis

photo courtesy of Abigail Keenan, Unsplash, CC

photo courtesy of Abigail Keenan, Unsplash, CC

(Warning: Expletives. Do not read to your young children. But, surely, these times require expletives. Future readers: It is post-presidential election 2016.)

I’m guessing that you’re having a hard time right about now. Am I right? Your sensitivity. Your empathy. Your sense of justice and fairness. Yeah. I’m guessing that you’re feeling overwhelmed and maybe just a dollop of despair. OK. Maybe a sh*tload of despair.  Maybe you’re wondering, “Oh boy. I’m supposed to DO something because they say I’m so gifted but, I am frozen in shock at what just happened and what it might mean. What can I possibly do that will make a difference? And, anyway, we all know that I’ve been faking giftedness all these years. I’m not all that smart. So, hey, in actuality, I don’ t need to feel so dang responsible. But I do. Responsible. Guilty. Angry. Overwhelmed. Not Gifted. (Add extra expletive here if needed.)” 

Am I in your head?

If I know you (and I do know you), even in your paralysis, you’re reading up a storm. Perhaps you’ve been following Bill Moyers. Or you’ve read Aaron Sorkin’s letter to his daughter. Or Huff Post articles on what to tell your kids. Garrison Keillor. Van Jones. Calvin and Hobbs. And your usual worry meter is way way off the charts. And, it’s a very big chart.

So what now?

“…Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale…” Clarissa Pinkola Estes

What part of the world is within your reach? Are you in therapy healing the wounds from your dysfunctional family and stopping the abuse in your ancestral line so that your children are safe and loved and securely attached? Are you in recovery from an addiction and fighting every day to stay clean and sober? Are you president of your neighborhood association and speaking out about the environmental inequality in your city? Are you an active member of the Southern Poverty Law Center or the ACLU or another organization? Are you inviting your mentally ill cousin to your holiday meals?

Good. Yes. And if that doesn’t seem like enough, especially for your rainforest mind, then what?

“…One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity…” Clarissa Pinkola Estes

You’ve heard me talk about this before. Here and here. How do you “show your soul?” What’s your purpose here? What’s your way of being fierce and showing mercy? How do you stay sensitive, compassionate and empathetic in these times? How do you accept the truth of your rainforest mind and then live that life?

You can do it. I know you can. Let’s move forward, together, toward that “enduring good.”

(Here’s the full essay by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.)

(And here’s a somewhat challenging yet compelling viewpoint from Charles Eisenstein. If the opening is hard to read, keep going. It’ll provide a lot of food for thought like: “If we can stare hate in the face and never waver from that knowledge, we will access inexhaustible tools of creative engagement, and hold a compelling invitation to the haters to fulfill their beauty.”)

____________________________

To my blogEEs: I want to hug each and every one of you. Wherever you are in the world, these recent election events in the US are deeply upsetting. Let us know how you’re doing and how you might access that bright soul light within you. Please avoid blaming, angry diatribes. Thank you and thanks to the brilliant Ms. Estes. (And I hope I haven’t offended anyone with the expletives!)