It Is Time To Stop Denying You Are Gifted

January 20, 2020 by Paula Prober 50 Comments

Photo courtesy of Miguel Bruna, Unsplash

“Humanity’s most consequential decade is now upon us. Your permission to play small has been permanently revoked.”   Van Jones

I know you may not think you are gifted. Perhaps, if you have been following my blog for a while, I have convinced you that you have a rainforest mind. But you may still question yourself because you did not do well in math or you dropped out of college or you are a stay-at-home mom or learning 5 languages was easy. Anyone can learn 5 languages easily, right? The Katakana/Hiragana alphabets? Can’t everyone teach themselves software engineering? Isn’t everyone a ravenous researcher-reader?

Um, no.

I understand. You do not want to be a narcissist. To be accused of arrogance. You want to recognize everyone’s talents. You still do not know what you want to do when you grow up and you are 50. You are not famous. You have met people smarter than you. You do not finish one project before you start another. You change jobs every few years. You can not decide what color to paint your bedroom. You feel distress when asked the question: How are you?

Distress? How are you?

Heck, yeah.

Then again, you may be denying your giftedness because it feels safer to “play small.” Being the smart kid was not so great. You may have been bullied for your intellectual enthusiasm. Parents may have assumed you would be fine, so you were the neglected child. The pressure to be a high achiever may be the reason for your endless anxiety. No one understood why you cried so much. You heard “who do you think you are” too many times. You may have been burned at the stake in a former life.

And, who can you tell you are gifted if you finally decide you are???

Honestly?

No one.

Well, you can tell me. Your partner should know. It will explain a lot. Your close friends. Who may also be gifted. Your acupuncturist, if she is also gifted. Your psychotherapist. Your gifted kids.

What’s most important is that YOU know. It will explain a lot.

And then. And then, you need to stop playing small.

Because, as you are aware, this is the decade where we all need to step up. Hiding is no longer an option. You have to risk the bullying and the neglect. You have to learn how to soothe your anxiety and appreciate your intuition. You have to reignite your intellectual enthusiasm.

And then?

From the wise words of Clarissa Pinkola Estes:

“…One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these — to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do…”

You need to be “…fully lit.” “…to stand up and show your soul.”

In other words, just be you.

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To my bloggEEs: I know it is not necessarily so easy to “just be you.” You may need some guidance. Maybe some self-compassion work. Encouragement about the future. Activism. Esoteric philosophy. Rebecca Solnit. Climate crisis action.  Soul Collage.  Psychotherapy. Relationship articles. My books!

I have been reading some old posts and find your comments so deeply sensitive and enlightening. Please continue to share your experiences here. We all benefit so much. Tell us how you feel about accepting your giftedness. Share what you are doing in these challenging times to know your soul and show your soul. And thank you so much for your courage and vulnerability. Sending big love.