I’m not complaining. You. A super-smart person. Have a lot going for you. A lot. You were born with a brain that is wired for extra-intelligence. It was a gift. You didn’t earn it. But there it is. I’m grateful. You’re grateful.
And you’re not complaining when you explain that there are times when you want to send the gift back. You’re probably seriously overwhelmed, exhausted and enthralled by what you see, what you feel, what you hear, what you intuit, what you smell, what you know, what you don’t know, what you worry about, and what you don’t worry about. And if you’re a parent of a child whose brain is wired for extra-intelligence, then, be sure to keep your receipt. Because you may want to send that gift back, too.
As a parent, you’re also probably seriously overwhelmed, exhausted and enthralled. Every day. All day. If you have more than one child, or if there are complicating factors, oh boy. Your sense of responsibility and ability to catastrophize may reach monumental proportions.
So, what do you do? What. do. you. do.
You get help.
“Wha???,” you gulp.
I can hear you now. “I’m not supposed to ask for help. I mean, I’m the gifted person. I’m the one others go to for help. And hey. I’ve tried asking and it doesn’t work. No one gets it. Their ideas are lame or cliche or dismissive. Argh!! And what will they think? I can’t risk my reputation. And I can’t complain because, well, what do I have to complain about?”
Take a breath.
I’m here to tell you that you, too, will need help. When the gift is just too much and your anxiety or your depression or your loneliness or your body chemistry or your thinking rage out of control or you are on the verge of returning your children to Walmart, permanently, you need to ask for help. (well, OK, your children didn’t come from Walmart…maybe they came from Macy’s)
The trick is: Give yourself permission to be persnickety. Take your time. Be selective. Help might come from unexpected places. If you try a practitioner who turns out to be inadequate, leave. If you join a book group that wants to read about vampires, quit. If you can’t find a Facebook group that is sensitive enough, start your own. If you’re dealing with trauma from childhood, meet with a few psychotherapists before deciding. Read blogs written by gifted individuals and go to websites that support gifted families.
You might need help from a team, especially if you have complicated physical conditions. Acupuncturists, naturopaths, massage therapists, energy healers, friends and pets can be great supplements to traditional medical practitioners.
Tap into your spiritual support network. It may be your religious community or your mindfulness practice. Remember that you have a finely tuned inner wisdom — insight that can be accessed through meditation, shamanic journeying, hypnotherapy, guided visualization, journaling or various art forms.
And, if all else fails, if your gift(edness) came from Costco, I think that they have a lifetime guaranteed return policy.
To my blogEEs: First, I need to mention that after writing this post, I realized that my oh-so-clever idea of sending the gift back has been used before. Probably multiple times. But at least one time that I can credit. Jen Torbeck Merrill has a wonderful blog and has written a book published by GHF Press entitled: If This is a Gift, Can I Send it Back?: Surviving in the Land of the Gifted and Twice-Exceptional. If you are a parent of a gifted and twice-exceptional child, you’ll want to connect with her work.
Second, it looks like the webinar I mentioned in my last post is on. The date is October 6, 2015, 4:30-6 PST. You can register through SENG. Or try this link. Contact their office if you need help. If you’ve been following my blog and are wanting to hear my sultry voice, now’s your chance. The webinar is about gifted adults, of course.