It didn’t go well when you were a little tyke.
You assumed that the other 5 year olds loved reading the dictionary as much as you did.
You assumed that all 7 year olds preferred a vacation to NASA over a trip to Disneyworld.
You assumed that the other kids would want to play your intricate games and learn your secret codes rather than play yet another round of Candyland.
You didn’t know that you had a rainforest mind. Maybe you still don’t.
That’s why I’m here.
Relationships can be tricky when you have a rainforest mind.
Have you noticed?
You think you’re explaining your ideas quite thoroughly and clearly. But your listeners aren’t listening. They’re lost in your creative leaps and poetic language. Or they don’t really care about the future of the electric car. Or they think your enthusiasm for mycelium is weird.
That you are weird.
If you’re particularly sensitive, which I know you are, then, you’re feeling more emotion and more empathy than the people around you. They might start avoiding you because you seem to be less cool, less able to “go with the flow.”
You might find it hard to pretend to like them. Or to accommodate their need for chit chat. You might feel crazy because what’s obvious to you, might not be apparent to them.
But you want to belong. You want to fit in. Have friends for heaven’s sake. Maybe even find a partner. Right? Is that too much to ask?
I have good news and bad news.
There are rainforest-minded people out there. Yes, there are. I meet them every day in my counseling office. (Aren’t I the lucky one?) And they are radiant beings. Shining lights of smartness, courage and sweetness. (Just like you.) Navigating their intricate and luminous existences on this planet. Seeking authenticity, purpose and love. Wanting to make a difference while they’re here.
You will have to look for them. Carefully. They’re probably hiding, like you are.
But I have some ideas.
Mostly, you have to know who you are. Figure out who you are. Use psychotherapy or yoga or meditation or painting or dancing or science or astrology or acupuncture or reading or hiking or music or spirituality or dark chocolate or some combination of these things. It’ll require time and effort. There may be crying.
And then you have to love that gorgeous rainforest-y mind (heart-body-soul-spirit) of yours.
You can do it.
Take a moment now and feel your glow. Maybe it’s in your heart. Maybe in your belly or your feet. I know it’s there. It’s always been there. It just may be crushed under the weight of a dysfunctional family or inadequate schooling or global suffering or some combination of these things.
As you feel your own radiance, you’ll be better able to spot your cohorts, your mates, your tribespeople– and you’ll have the courage to approach them and create your community.
They’ll find you, too.
You’ll be hard to miss.
They’ll see you sparkling.
To my blogEEs: I know that it’s not easy to find yourself and love yourself. For most of us, it’s a lifelong journey. Know that you don’t have to be perfect before you find other rainforest-y beings. Just get started. OK? And let us know how it’s going. We’re here for you.
For more posts on the topic of giftedness and relationships, click on the link below.