You were five years old and couldn’t wait to get to school. But when you got there, something went terribly wrong. You anticipated learning all about the solar system and reading all of the books that you could get your curious little hands on. But, instead, you were told to help the other kids identify the letters of the alphabet and color the circles red and the triangles blue.
This was so strange. Maybe you’d entered a time machine. Maybe extraterrestrials had invaded your school. Maybe you were missing something and there was a secret code you were meant to decipher that used red, blue, circles and triangles and if you figured out the code you’d find the trap door where they hid the books.
Weren’t the other five years olds also eager to know the speed of light and to read A Wrinkle in Time? You began to wonder what was wrong with you. You weren’t like the other kids. You confused them when you spoke about your trip to NASA. They resented you when you kept correcting their spelling.
But you adored your kindergarten teacher. If you could just talk to her all day, you’d be happy. You hung around her desk at recess wanting to ask her why the sky was blue and what she thought of tesseracts. But because she was busy and looked stressed out, you felt sad for her. She was focused on stopping Tommy from hitting Gretchen. So you didn’t ask.
And that was how it went.
You loved learning. You were starving for answers to your questions. But school didn’t know what to do with you.
I’m hoping that you didn’t interpret that to mean that you were deficient. That you were the problem. Unfortunately, I know lots of kids who did just that. And if you didn’t get good grades because you became anxious during tests or because you had exceedingly high expectations so work didn’t get turned in on time or because you became disillusioned with the pointlessness of it all, then you may have decided that you weren’t very smart. Certainly not gifted.
Or perhaps you did get good grades. Without really trying. You could procrastinate until the very last minute and get an A. So the grades became meaningless. Or an opportunity for bullies. Or a chance for you to feel guilty. And not very smart. Certainly not gifted.
Or maybe you went to a university and then your fears were realized. You hadn’t learned how to manage your time or study for exams and you felt like you shouldn’t have to ask for help. You may have been unable to choose a major because your interests were so diverse. Surely, you’d proven beyond any doubt that you weren’t very smart. Certainly not gifted.
Certainly not gifted?
Stop blaming yourself because you never figured out the secret code. How could you know?
You were– too gifted.
To my bloggEEs: Tell us about your experiences in school. Similar or different from what I’ve described here?
Disclaimer–I’m writing this blog from my perspective– growing up, going to school and counseling in the USA. I don’t know if these dynamics are common elsewhere. Can those of you from around the world let us know if you can relate? Was it similar for you? Are there differences? We’d love to hear from you. And, of course, I want to hear from all of you, my lovely readers. Your experiences, questions, feelings and insights.