Your Rainforest Mind

Support for the Excessively Curious, Creative, Smart & Sensitive

Lonely? Find Your Pips.


Face it.

You weren’t popular.

You still aren’t.

You were too excited by Jane Austen. You were too curious about black holes and sea anemones. You were too emotional when you were teased. You were too incensed when teachers were unfair. You were too disappointed when the world let you down.

You still are.

But maybe you don’t care about being popular now. It no longer matters.

But you do need community. Your tribe. Or a friend. One good friend.

So what do you do?

* Admit that you have a rainforest mind. Then do things you love. Use your intuition to spot other rainforest-minded souls while you’re there. Take the risk and ask one to tea. S/he will be grateful. You’ll have a potential friend.

* Learn the Argentine tango.

* Find or create an online community talking about Jane Austen, black holes and sea anemones.

And finally.

* Find your Pips. (not to be confused with ‘peeps’)

I stole this idea. From an old quirky TV show. I’m embarrassed to admit it. Ally McBeal. In this episode, she was told by her stand-up-comedian therapist that her distress could be soothed if she found her Pips. As in, Gladys Knight and the Pips. Her back-up singers. Everybody needs back-up singers.


Imagine your Pips. Your spiritual support network. Singing and dancing right behind you. Melodies. Harmonies. Shoo bop shoo bop. Maybe they look like people. Maybe animals. Maybe shining balls of light.

No matter.

They’re yours. They’ll be there when the humans aren’t.

Don’t take my word for it.

Just say you heard it through the grapevine.


photo:  CC

To my blogEEs: Sorry it’s been a while. I hope you missed me. Let me/us know in the comments what you do to soothe your soul and cope with your loneliness. How do you build your spiritual support network? I’ll share more ideas on that in the next post.

And let’s create community right here. Sha na na na. Sha na na na na.

This post is part of the blog hop at See the link below to read about gifted kids and friendships.

Author: Paula Prober

I'm a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice in Eugene, Oregon. I specialize in counseling gifted adults and consulting with parents of gifted children. The label "gifted" is often controversial and confusing. I use the metaphor of the rainforest to describe this population. Like the rainforest, these individuals are quite complex, highly sensitive, intense, multi-layered, and misunderstood. They're also curious, idealistic, highly intelligent, creative, perfectionistic, and they love learning. I've been an adjunct instructor at the University of Oregon and a guest presenter at Oregon State University and Pacific University. I've written articles on giftedness for the Eugene Register-Guard, the Psychotherapy Networker, and Advanced Development Journal. My first book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth, was released in June 2016 by GHF Press and is available on Amazon or at your independent bookstore. My second book, Journey Into Your Rainforest Mind: A Field Guide for Gifted Adults and Teens, Book Lovers, Overthinkers, Geeks, Sensitives, Brainiacs, Intuitives, Procrastinators, and Perfectionists, was released in June 2019.

17 thoughts on “Lonely? Find Your Pips.

  1. OMG! Paula! :)I missed you! hope the conference went well! Whaddya do? Whaddya talk about? 🙂 tell me everything! This is so right up my alley because without my spiritual support dudes and other assorted awesomeness this girl would not be here! Yes well personally I speak with Jesus and God but that is my bent…they are enormously helpful and love me and see my good…and I guess it helps that I am so spiritual and intuitive. But whatever works right. Yes I was desperately lonely most of my life and would write rambling poems about being the one of my kind…I am quite the kick ass writer 🙂 but now I am seeing that I am not as alone as I thought and there are good people and even smart people out there…but you have to like yourself as well… And release the backward deprived servant consciousness that was so much a part of my previous life…and embrace my good! My good. Mine. Yes there is such a thing! Getting used to it! And wow I am popular now….most people do like me..although sometimes I wonder why…:) ) old habits as they say…but yes my students adore me and are so sweet! Ms. Graham! I am Ms. Graham now…and not that weird kid with glasses, in the 3 rd row that the kids and teachers were jealous of…I am capable powerful Ms. Graham. Awesome 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, Ms. Graham, thanks for sharing your awesome self with us! I missed you, too. I was presenting at the SENG conference about counseling gifted adults. I can’t quite tell you *everything* at this moment…but it’ll all come out in the blog eventually. I’m happy to hear about your “spiritual support dudes.” Keep going with your assorted awesomeness!


  2. I’m really enjoying your blog. It speaks to my soul. So thank you for making this space for me and the other rainforest minds out there.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Every single post… it is like you can read my very existence!
    I am still not sure I am ready or willing to accept the possibility that the G word is what is “wrong” with me. However, this is giving me the little extra push I needed to continue to advocate for my HG daughter. It is such an uphill battle, and one that I was losing strength to fight. Each post is re-energizing and motivating.
    Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Lonely? Find Your Pips–Part Two | Your Rainforest Mind

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  8. Oh my goodness Paula…I loved Ally McBeal! I might have to find this old episode somewhere and show my RFM daughter, who is 12 and is really feeling lonely these days. Thank you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Love the idea of finding your “Pips”. I have been fortunate to find a few people who appreciate my rainforest mind – I refer to them as members of my Fan Club. My best friend is President. 🙂
    Thanks for all you do.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Late to the party, but thank you so much for writing this blog. For a long time I have felt isolated from much of wat goes in to “normal” human interaction, and have thought that there must be something wrong with me because of it. Thank you for showing me that there are other people like this, and that they have many of the same struggles I do. This blog makes me feel less alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: The Holiday Season Blues — Rainforest Mind Edition | Your Rainforest Mind

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