Your Rainforest Mind

Support for the Excessively Curious, Creative, Smart & Sensitive


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Blogs On Gifted Kids That You Will Love

photo courtesy of Justin Luebke, Unsplash, CC

photo courtesy of Justin Luebke, Unsplash, CC

Below are links to some of my favorite blogs. I have to admit, my dear readers, that I have a not-so-hidden agenda. All of these fabulous bloggers have reviewed my book. You get a two for one deal: Recommendations for great blogs on giftedness plus sensitive thoughtful reviews of my book.

Thus, if you’re still wondering if my book is worth the price, you can see what these fine humans have to say. Then you might want to sign on and follow these bloggers. After that, you can bike to your neighborhood bookstore or to Amazon and buy copies for yourself, your teens, your therapist, your favorite teachers and your eccentric Aunt Maxine.

Here we go:

Pamela Price writes a fascinating blog that covers multiple topics including raising gifted children, education, bullying, self-care, food security and elder care. She’s written a book on homeschooling  and another on bullying. Here’s her review, plus an interview with me.

Gail Post is a psychologist in PA, USA. Her writing is very clear and concise. She has both professional and parenting experience and writes about underachievement, perfectionism, schooling, advocacy, social isolation and so much more. Here is her interview with me.

Caitlin Fitzpatrick Curley is a mother of three young rainforest minds. You’ll notice her resourcefulness as you scroll through her site and wonder how she manages to homeschool, share her insight and find so many incredible resources to recommend to other parents. You’ll also find her at the Huff Post. Her review is here.

Lucinda Leo is based in the UK. She’s been a lawyer, a cognitive hypnotherapist and is now a dedicated mum of two energetic gifted kids. She writes  a lot about intensities, sensitivity and overexcitabilities. Here is her lovely, personal, detailed review!

Jade Rivera is an innovative educator and compassionate soul who wrote a very practical book about starting a micro school. She blogs for parents of 2e kids and educators. Her review is here.

Numinds Enrichment is a blog for parents and educators written by two enthusiastic, creative educators and a sensitive big-hearted parent. Numinds is a “revolutionary educational enrichment company” based in Dallas, Texas. Emily, the big-hearted parent, wrote this review.

Celi Trepanier is the mother of three gifted boys and writes the popular parenting blog Crushing Tall Poppies. Her excellent book, Educating Your Gifted Child, is published by GHF Press. Her review is here.

Jennifer Harvey Sallin runs the innovative website and FB group, Intergifted, an international home for gifted adults (ok, not kids, but it needed to be here anyway). The website contains well-written articles, courses and opportunities for coaching. Read her comprehensive review here.

Ann Grahl runs the important website Supporting Gifted Learners. Her sensitivity and knowledge is clear in her posts. Here is her review.

Lisa Conrad provides loads of resources and information for parents of gifted kids.. Her weekly Twitter events on gifted topics include lists of related articles, blogs and books. She has a list of professionals here. (therapists worldwide who understand giftedness) You can find her review on Amazon along with several others.

There are even more wonderful blogs on giftedness but I didn’t want to overwhelm you. Look for them on the two excellent websites that have been serving gifted families for years: giftedhomeschoolers.org and hoagiesgifted.org.

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To my bloggEEs: Do you have other resources you’d recommend that have helped you understand your rainforest mind? Thank you, as always, for reading and sharing.


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If I Can Do It, So Can You — Finding Your Purpose(s)

photo courtesy of Chaz Harding, Flickr, CC

photo courtesy of Chaz Harding, Flickr, CC

I have the best job ever. I love deep meaningful conversations with one person at a time. The human psyche is fascinating to me. I’m an introvert. I believe that healing is possible when humans embark on the courageous journey of deep introspection. I want to make a difference in the world. I’m a psychotherapist. It’s the best job ever. For me.

Not only that. I specialize in working with highly sensitive, insightful,  empathetic, super-smart humans. I spend my days with them. It never gets dull.

I get paid to do this.

Today, was a typical day. For example: (Details changed to protect privacy.)

Jenny, in her 40s, is a musician/composer. She’s courageously grieving a history of abuse in childhood, the traumatic death of her mother and a divorce while raising a gifted teen. She’s sensitive, compassionate and determined. Today, she was sharing her experiences of fragility and vulnerability and wondering how to navigate through such unstable terrain. In a moment of insight, she realized that she was finding her voice through her art; that her pain was turning into beauty through the music. And this would empower her and touch everyone who experienced her sound.

Then, I met with the parents of a highly gifted twelve-year-old. These parents, Mary and Craig, are the parents you wish you had. They’re sweet, articulate, smart, devoted to their kids, and kind. Since their daughter entered school, they’ve had to stay involved in her education to be sure her academic needs were met. It hasn’t been easy. Their girl, Stacy, is extremely intense and emotional. A perfectionist. Highly creative. A voracious learner with extraordinary empathy. When I met her parents, they were frustrated and sad. Stacy is highly verbal, full of ideas and worries. She tends to feel overly responsible and has a highly developed social conscience. She’s way ahead of her peers in every subject area. Some teachers love her. Others don’t.

Mary and Craig sympathize with the challenges the educators face, and yet, all they want is for Stacy to be intellectually stimulated and to maintain her motivation to achieve. Arrangements were made to allow Stacy to read advanced material in an independent study program. Not ideal, but a beginning. Stacy was excited and enthusiastically began reading. Sadly, administrators changed their minds and put Stacy back in the torture chamber uninspiring class. Mary and Craig were struggling with what to do next. I was able to encourage them and to remind them that Stacy has a right to an education that meets her needs.

This is what I do all day. (Oh, yes, and I blog, too.) If I can find my purpose in life, so can you. And there’s no better time than the present. We can no longer wait for the perfect moment or for the kids to grow up or for the next iPhone. We can no longer wait for lightening to strike. The planet needs its rainforest minds. Now.

No pressure. Well, maybe a little pressure. OK. A lot of pressure.

If you’re wondering how to begin or how you’ll know you’ve found it, here are some ideas. Remember it’s a process. (In my case, there were years of psychotherapy and other types of inner work.) I write about accepting and showing your rainforestness here and here. I write about how psychotherapy works here and here.  Career paths here and here. Parenting, here. And I suggest some books here. Maybe you spend time in Nature or you read Pema Chodron or you start a mindfulness practice. Maybe you influence educators at your child’s school. Maybe you turn your pain into art.

Make the time to quiet yourself and listen to your heart.

When your heart sings.

You’ve found it.

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To my blogEEs: I mention “purpose(s)” because you might have more than one purpose over your lifetime. Share your thoughts, feelings and questions here. What makes your heart sing? Let me know how I can help. Thank you for reading and sharing.


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A Path Through Your Post-Election Paralysis

photo courtesy of Abigail Keenan, Unsplash, CC

photo courtesy of Abigail Keenan, Unsplash, CC

(Warning: Expletives. Do not read to your young children. But, surely, these times require expletives. Future readers: It is post-presidential election 2016.)

I’m guessing that you’re having a hard time right about now. Am I right? Your sensitivity. Your empathy. Your sense of justice and fairness. Yeah. I’m guessing that you’re feeling overwhelmed and maybe just a dollop of despair. OK. Maybe a sh*tload of despair.  Maybe you’re wondering, “Oh boy. I’m supposed to DO something because they say I’m so gifted but, I am frozen in shock at what just happened and what it might mean. What can I possibly do that will make a difference? And, anyway, we all know that I’ve been faking giftedness all these years. I’m not all that smart. So, hey, in actuality, I don’ t need to feel so dang responsible. But I do. Responsible. Guilty. Angry. Overwhelmed. Not Gifted. (Add extra expletive here if needed.)” 

Am I in your head?

If I know you (and I do know you), even in your paralysis, you’re reading up a storm. Perhaps you’ve been following Bill Moyers. Or you’ve read Aaron Sorkin’s letter to his daughter. Or Huff Post articles on what to tell your kids. Garrison Keillor. Van Jones. Calvin and Hobbs. And your usual worry meter is way way off the charts. And, it’s a very big chart.

So what now?

“…Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale…” Clarissa Pinkola Estes

What part of the world is within your reach? Are you in therapy healing the wounds from your dysfunctional family and stopping the abuse in your ancestral line so that your children are safe and loved and securely attached? Are you in recovery from an addiction and fighting every day to stay clean and sober? Are you president of your neighborhood association and speaking out about the environmental inequality in your city? Are you an active member of the Southern Poverty Law Center or the ACLU or another organization? Are you inviting your mentally ill cousin to your holiday meals?

Good. Yes. And if that doesn’t seem like enough, especially for your rainforest mind, then what?

“…One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity…” Clarissa Pinkola Estes

You’ve heard me talk about this before. Here and here. How do you “show your soul?” What’s your purpose here? What’s your way of being fierce and showing mercy? How do you stay sensitive, compassionate and empathetic in these times? How do you accept the truth of your rainforest mind and then live that life?

You can do it. I know you can. Let’s move forward, together, toward that “enduring good.”

(Here’s the full essay by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.)

(And here’s a somewhat challenging yet compelling viewpoint from Charles Eisenstein. If the opening is hard to read, keep going. It’ll provide a lot of food for thought like: “If we can stare hate in the face and never waver from that knowledge, we will access inexhaustible tools of creative engagement, and hold a compelling invitation to the haters to fulfill their beauty.”)

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To my blogEEs: I want to hug each and every one of you. Wherever you are in the world, these recent election events in the US are deeply upsetting. Let us know how you’re doing and how you might access that bright soul light within you. Please avoid blaming, angry diatribes. Thank you and thanks to the brilliant Ms. Estes. (And I hope I haven’t offended anyone with the expletives!)


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Too Sensitive, Too Dramatic, Too Intense –What Is Emotional Intelligence?

photo courtesy of Swaraj Tiwari, Unsplash, CC

photo courtesy of Swaraj Tiwari, Unsplash, CC

How do we define emotional intelligence when we’re talking about your rainforest mind?  

Maybe you feel that you are the opposite of emotionally intelligent.

Here are some possible reasons:

You feel emotionally UN-intelligent because when you were a youngster, everyone told you that you were too sensitive, too dramatic and way too emotional.

You feel emotionally UN-intelligent because when you were a little tyke you had frequent flamboyant meltdowns.

You feel emotionally UN-intelligent because you’re easily upset by fragrances, chemicals, clashing colors, social media, depressed relatives, ignorant politicians, leaf blowers and bad architecture.

You feel emotionally UN-intelligent because you cry when you watch corny TV commercials or when you watch your child sleeping or when trees are cut down or when you read an angry Facebook post.

But what if all of the above are not indications that you are a histrionic, hysterical, neurotic, emotional cripple? But, instead, are signs of your emotional maturity, your emotional expansiveness, your emotional, yes, intelligence.

Let me explain.

A sign of rainforest-mindedness is depth. Depth, complexity, intensity. That means that you have EMOTIONS. Where your neighbor might feel sad, you feel despair. Where your uncle might feel happy, you feel joyful. Where your partner might feel angry, you feel rage. Where your classmate might feel bored, you feel desperation. Where your friend might feel nothing, you feel awestruck.

See what I mean?

And these feelings aren’t purposeless. No siree. They make you perceptive, insightful and compassionate.

That said, your EMOTIONS might overwhelm you. They may get out of control or stuck. You might feel like you’re drowning or lost or paralyzed or sick. Anxious. Depressed. Frightened.

If that happens, there are strategies. Things you can do. Read this post for some ideas. And here are more resources. And, of course, there’s my book. (And if you’re a male, this is even more complicated. Read about it here.) And, of course, if you feel anxious, depressed or frightened much of the time, seek out a sensitive therapist.

And yet. Remember this: The despair, the joy, the rage, the desperation, the awestruck-ness. None of it makes you emotionally UN-intelligent.

It makes you gifted.

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To my bloggEEs: What are your thoughts about emotional intelligence? How do you cope with your intense emotions? How have your found these emotions to be beneficial? If you’re a male, how has your sensitivity been problematic? helpful?

For even more posts on the topic of emotional intelligence click on this link:

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Five Brave Books That Soothe And Inspire

photo courtesy of Glen Noble, Unsplash, CC

photo courtesy of Glen Noble, Unsplash, CC

Sensitive, insightful, emotional, book-loving humans like you may need some extra support during these turbulent times.

Here are five fabulous books to guide you. To give you hope and direction. And even a few laughs.

Belonging Here: A Guide for the Spiritually Sensitive Person by Judith Blackstone

Psychologist Blackstone knows giftedness. Through her own hard-earned awakening, she developed a process for finding your authenticity through your body.

“Sensory sensitivity…is a gift that can help us awaken to our spiritual essence. By becoming even more sensitive, we can uncover a subtle, unified dimension of ourselves in which stimuli register without overwhelming us. We can enjoy a world of vivid and subtle sights, sounds, fragrances, tastes, and textures. We can even sense an inner world beyond or beneath the surfaces of the life around us, the movement of thoughts and feelings in other people’s bodies, and the subtle, multi-colored vibrations that emanate from all natural forms…”

Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want by Martha Beck

What I love about Beck is that she doesn’t take herself or her work too seriously. And yet, in this book, she shares both practical and magical ideas on the leading edge of possibilities, realities and imaginings.

“…those who reclaim the true nature of the mender’s Imagination, grounded in presence and shaped by compassion, can find their way in a wild new world. Perhaps they can even renew, re-wild, and restore the world itself.”

Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe by Andrew Boyd

This book has been described as: “A dark, twisted, existential manifesto posing as a book of daily inspiration.” It’s funny and philosophical.

“The Tragedy of Commitment…Sometimes you are paralyzed with indecision. You can’t bring yourself to choose any one future because to choose one is to forsake the promise of all others. Yet not choosing is making you crazy. In such a drastic state, drastic action is necessary. You must choose–and then, one by one, murder all the futures you passed over…”

Soul Collage: An Intuitive Collage Process for Individuals and Groups by Seena Frost

If you’re looking for a deep, artistic, simple and creative way to express yourself and find inner guidance, try this one on. You’ll be creating a “visual journal” that may surprise you with its messages.

“The SoulCollage process is a way to tend soul and explore psyche at the same time.”

Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth by Paula Prober

You’ve probably heard about this one! If not, here’s part of a lovely review from Jennifer Harvey Sallin at Intergifted.

“…It is obvious reading Paula’s work why she was made for helping gifted people, why her presence and her work strike such a chord with gifted people of all ages all over the world, and why people eagerly await her contributions. She is a model for us all – helping professionals working with gifted people and gifted people ourselves. Should we all be like her when we are celebrating almost 40 years of work well done, we should all be grateful and proud…”

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To my bloggEEs: Now it’s your turn! Tell us about the books you love and why you love them. Fiction, nonfiction, poetry. All are welcome.


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If I’m So Smart, Why Do I Need Psychotherapy? Part Two

photo courtesy of Cheryl Winn-Boujnida, Unsplash, CC

photo courtesy of Cheryl Winn-Boujnida, Unsplash, CC

Things are looking kinda crazy these days. It’s hard to know what to think, what to do, or how to be. There are so many issues worldwide that need attention. So many. What should super-sensitive, empathetic, insightful, emotional humans do?

Well. Being the obsessed-with-psychotherapy psychotherapist that I am, you can guess what I’m about to say. Hang in there with me.

What if you start. With yourself. And your family. What if you take some time to examine your very own fears, doubts and despair. What if you take a trip into your past to understand the legacy your dysfunctional family handed to you. Locate your true Self. And pull her/him out from under the rubble. Think about it. If all humans would recover the self-acceptance, compassion and creativity that was smooshed or buried or broken or clobbered during those early years, might we create a path to a better world?

Heck, yeah.

Now, I know that what I’m asking isn’t easy. It takes great courage to make this journey. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And, in case you’re wondering: Examining the multiple ways you were clobbered isn’t about blaming your parents willy-nilly or irreverently dismantling the lovely coping strategies you’ve so cleverly designed or slashing open old wounds so that you bleed for years all over your so-impractical white sofa. No. It’s not that.

It is, however, about understanding what happened so that you can put the puzzle pieces together and answer the questions that have plagued you for years. Questions about your fears and doubts and despair. Questions like: If I’m so smart, why am I scared all the time?  If I’m so smart, why are my relationships so difficult? If I’m so smart, why do I feel like a worthless crazy catastrophizing ne’er-do-well? Questions like that.

You may say: But I do understand what happened and that hasn’t changed anything. I know. That’s because it’s not just about intellectual understanding. Although that’s the place to start.  It’s also about a safe supported grieving process. An opportunity to process the sadness, anger, shame and regrets that live in your broken heart. An opportunity to find and love those child parts of you that have been abandoned and trampled.

By the way? This is a big deal.

How big? Well. You ‘re stopping the legacy of dysfunction in your family line. Handed down through generations. The dysfunction stops with you. That big.

Not only that. In a deep therapeutic process, you’re healing your portion of the psycho-spiritual web. Where we’re all connected. So it’s not even just your family line. It’s all of us.

I mean it.

And just when you thought that was quite enough, there’s more. I am not making this up. Along with the sweet child parts that you rescue from the abyss, you will be astonished by spurts of creativity and sparks of intuition. (the voice of your true Self!) Expansion of your softened heart. An even greater compassion for others. Energy and inspirations.

And there’s your path. Better world?

Indeed.

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To my bloggEEs: If you’re wondering how to find a good therapist who understands your rainforest mind look here. If you need to help your therapist understand your giftedness, show him/her this. And if you didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family, we still love you and you can skip this post! Thank you for reading and sharing. Please tell us your thoughts about psychotherapy and other ways you’ve found to heal from past trauma, abuse and dysfunction.


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The Gifted Adult’s Guide to Finding Friends

photo courtesy of Brooke Cagle, Unsplash, CC

photo courtesy of Brooke Cagle, Unsplash, CC

You’re sensitive. Empathetic. Funny. Generous. Smart. Adorable. And yet, you have trouble finding friends.

I’m here to help.

I’ve gathered my five favorite posts on relationships here so that you don’t need to go searching for them. I’d suggest that you read them all to get my comprehensive take on this topic. You’ll be able to pick and choose from the many suggestions and you’ll see that the reason you’re lonely is not because you’re a hopeless weirdo slacker ne’er-do-well. But because you’re gifted.

So what are you waiting for? Let’s get started:

If I’m So Smart, Why Am I So Lonely  (This one has a link at the end to more posts on relationships written by parents of gifted children.)

Gifted? Lonely? Learn The Argentine Tango  (You won’t want to miss the quote from Maria Popova.)

Lonely? Find Your Pips  (This one has a link at the end by a different group of parents of gifted kids, also on this topic.)

Lonely? Find Your Pips–Part Two  (This is where I get all spiritual on you.)

Single? Lonely? Gifted? Listen Up  (I’m not saying here that you shouldn’t be happy if you’re single!! Nooooo. I’m just saying that if you’re single and want a partner, here are some ideas. And this post also includes ideas for finding friends, too, so don’t skip over it.)

One more thing: When you’re clearer about who you are, you’ll be better able to spot other rainforest minds. If you’re doing something you love, at work or at play, and you spot one who has potential, be brave and initiate a conversation. Ask them questions about themselves. They will thank you! If they lead a busy life, don’t let that stop you. You may have to do the work to build the relationship at first. But if your intuition says they’re a good one, keep at it. Eventually the person will reciprocate and the relationship will be more balanced. I know that this works because it’s how I created my lovely circle of dear rainforest-y friends. But you have to be patient and persistent. OK?

One last thing: Don’t forget the online groups. Also, my book has a chapter on loneliness with even more suggestions. And, if you want to hang out with rainforest minds on a daily basis, well, become a counselor/consultant for the gifted. Start a blog. Write a book.

You’ll be so glad you did.

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To my bloggEEs: How have you found other rainforest minds? How do you deal with loneliness? Thank you for being here and for opening your hearts.